I’m on vacation this week. I’m sitting about 50 yards from the ocean right now. I have nothing to do. There are no tasks lined up for me. There is no routine to step through each day. There is no schedule. There is nothing that I am supposed to do. This kind of vacation has the same effect on me every year. I’m not quite sure what to do with it. The beauty around me stirs something within me and I feel like I want to act on it, but I’m not sure what to do. I eat a lot on these vacations. I’m also working my way through a stack of really good books, but when my routine is taken away I feel lost.
I am confronted with this question; what do you want to do… or maybe it is better said, what will you be? Normally I don’t have time to think about this question. I’m usually too busy. What troubles me is the realization that I could work my whole life away doing tasks that make me too busy to decide what I really want to do/be. Even more troubling is the fear that comes with the question. The routine is safe and familiar. The things I really want to do involve risk and exposure and the unknown. It’s easier to complain about the routine than it is to face that question. I am haunted by that question and I think we all are. All of creation is waiting for that question to be answered.
What are you going to do? What will you be?
“For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.” – Romans 8:19