Let’s face it; we all have a deep tumultuous well of emotion inside us that bubbles up at various times throughout our lives. It may be resentment, bitterness, disappointment, frustration, anger, despair, yearning or any one of a number of other sentiments. We experience these difficult stretches where, despite our best efforts, we can’t seem to get our hearts into the “right place”. Something deep within us is unsettled and will not quiet down. It’s the sort of disruption that feels like it could threaten our whole world view and we fear it. Our tendency might be to handle this in an “old-covenant” fashion. By that I mean, steer clear of God until we can get it under control and then arrange for repentance and an appropriate level of penance… or redouble our commitment to religious activity, read more of our Bible or go to an extra service during the week, anything to quiet it down so that we can return to putting on that presentable Christian facade that has carried us this far.
This kind of disruption is not something to be ignored. What would it be like to bring it to God? The life that you long for is not found by returning to the good behavior you were pulling off before. No, what you need is an honest dialogue with God and now that your heart has come nearer to the surface you can actually be present. You need to be truly present to hear His voice. “Yeah I know he loves me and died for my sin” you say, but you aren’t really listening. You’ve got your arrangements, your way of coping, and you just want to get back to normal life where at least you can pretend you’re satisfied. The rest of the world seems to like that better anyway.
The new covenant is about your heart. That’s what Jesus came for. It will go to sleep if you suppress it for long enough, but if you want life you have to take it to him… the real thing. Now is the time.